


loving you

by jaehyn



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Holidays, Implied Sexual Content, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 11:17:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13739745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaehyn/pseuds/jaehyn
Summary: 2018 was a weird year for johnny and ten. a really weird year.





	loving you

**Author's Note:**

> 1) excuse all my typos and mistakes and such. i didnt do as much editing as i needed to!  
> 2) the story basically goes through all the holidays of 2018  
> 3) i really hope you enjoy this!! leave comments & kudos if you want (: also leave feedback (:

——  
dec. 31, 2017

“god it’s freezing.” johnny shivered, earning a light giggle from his boyfriend.   
“i bet it’s 90 degrees in florida.” johnny huffed.

“well we could move there?” ten unfolded the outdoor lounge chair and placed it next to johnny’s.

“yeah, no thanks. chicago is perfect.” johnny chuckled. “i can’t believe we never thought of this,” johnny marveled at the scenery in front of him. it wasn’t as beautiful as the new york city skyline but it was beautiful enough.  
“from now on, we’re spending every new year’s eve on the rooftop of our apartment building.” the tall man declared.

“what if we move?” ten looked over at johnny who stared blankly into space as he thought of an answer. “then we’ll go to the rooftop of another building.” johnny smiled.   
ten took out his phone to snap a few photos of everything in front of him to reference for his art. he gets inspired by things like this.

“just wait till people start blasting fireworks.” johnny said, watching ten take photos. “it’ll be so beautiful.” he muttered.

ten nodded, agreeing with johnny before taking one last photo. he twisted uncomfortably in the chair to face johnny better.  
“so what are we supposed to do until 11:59?” he asked, handing johnny a bag of gummy lifesavers.

“well i brought some wine and you brought way too many bags of gummys so i guess this is what we’re gonna do,” johnny grinned.

“we could dance?” ten checked the time on his phone. 11:54.   
“like we can have a mini awkward middle school type dance right on this rooftop. i still have that old playlist of slow songs we used to sing together in the car.”

“oh my god, the playlist!” johnny exclaimed. “what was that ed sheeran song we were obsessed with for a while?”

“thinking out loud.” ten smiled. “you played it for me at a really crappy bar on the piano once and you were really tipsy and i was super embarrassed but i loved it.” the dark haired boy smiled wider as he remembered that night.

johnny smiled while watching ten talk about that night and everything about the thai boy’s smile was so contagious.

“let’s dance then.” ten stood up and extended his hand so johnny could grab it. he picked up his phone, opening his music app and putting the old playlist on shuffle. of course thinking out loud was the first song that came on.

“it’s so cold.” johnny muttered, dramatically chattering his lips as he wrapped his hands around ten’s waist.

“it’ll get warmer when we move around.” ten smiled, resting his arms on johnny’s shoulders.

“i honestly forget how to do this, ten.” the tall boy admitted.

“watch,” the shorter said softly as he began to sway slowly, stepping closer to johnny.   
“we just...move.” ten muttered,”like this.” he looked into johnny’s deep brown eyes, swaying to the slow beat of the music.   
for a minute, everything was so silent and the soft wind mixed with the music that played from ten’s phone was no longer heard. they just stared at each other, feeling like the only people left on earth.   
ten’s eyes scanned his boyfriend’s face, from his forehead that was only slightly revealed since his hair parted in the middle, down to his beautifully structured chin. everything in between; his eyebrows, eyes, nose, and lips were so shockingly perfect to ten. it was like they met all over again.

he’s so beautiful. ten thought. he’s too beautiful. he’s even too perfect and ten always thought he didn’t deserve someone as sweet and warm as johnny.

“ten, it’s 11:58,” johnny said softly, taking ten out of his thoughts. “and the song changed without you realizing.” he chuckled as he pulled ten closer to him.

“oh,” ten let out an airy chuckle before resting his head on johnny’s chest. “let’s just stay like this,”

“that’s what i was thinking.” johnny murmured. he rest his chin on ten’s head. he doesn’t want this to end, he wants to stay like this forever. if only time could stop.

a loud pop sounded through the air, making ten jump a bit and johnny clutched him tightly. they both stared at the sky and their eyes widened at the fireworks. the sky turned into bright red and blues and johnny immediately stared at ten, seeing how the colors flashed in ten’s big bright eyes.

“happy new year!” ten suddenly exclaimed, jumping into johnny’s arms and kissing him sloppily. johnny caught him and held him tightly while they kissed for moment, listening to the fireworks crack. when they pulled away, they stared at each other for a moment and ten tangled his fingers through johnny’s hair.

“i love you, ten.” johnny whispered. “i love you so much.” he said louder.

“come here,” ten cupped johnny’s face and kissed him again, only briefly before pulling away and saying,”i love you more.”

johnny couldn’t stop smiling and he put ten back on his feet so he could get the wine.

“damn it i forgot the glasses...” johnny muttered.

“it’s okay, we can drink from the bottle.” ten giggled, taking the cork off with no problem since the bottle was already opened.

“please don’t drink too much and fall of this roof.” johnny joked.

“it’s wine, johnny,” ten laughed. “it’s not like we’re drinking straight vodka.”

“you’re right.” johnny chuckled. “happy 2018.” he said, kissing ten softly.

“happy 2018.” the shorter repeated. “do you think they’re gonna blast fireworks all night?”

“probably.”

“americans are so weird.” ten took a gulp from the bottle, twisting his face when he finished.

johnny chuckled at ten’s comment and his facial expression. ten always comments on weird things americans do but he’s lived in the states for 6 years now and just recently became a documented citizen.

ten picked up his phone to take pictures of johnny while the colors from the fireworks reflected on his face.

“thanks for giving me ideas for my new project.” ten said nonchalantly as he scrolled through the photos he took.

“how do you get such clear pictures on your phone?” johnny looked at the pictures ten took.

“i don’t know. maybe i should be a photographer.” ten joked.

“then i won’t be able to brag about my artist boyfriend.” johnny wrapped his arms around ten’s torso.

“you’re right.” ten smiled. “do you want to dance again?” he changed the subject.

“yes, i would love to.” johnny answered in a very poor british accent.

ten turned his music back on and goofily embraced johnny in a hug, squeezing him tightly. both of them giggled and ten wrapped his arms around johnny’s shoulders before they continued to dance again. ten was struck with fascination again, this time the fireworks added onto johnny’s ethereal beauty.

they danced on the rooftop until 1:30 in the morning, talking about their new year resolutions that they both knew weren’t going to come true.

they don’t know what to expect for the new year but all they can guarantee is that they’ll seek the most joy they can through each other.

———

feb. 9, 2018

ten placed the last candle in the cake before picking up the lighter. after several attmepts to get the falme on, he lit the candles that were positioned in a circle around the words ‘happy bday!’. it took him hours to make the cake perfect enough for johnny. he topped it with several sweets to accommodate johnny’s sweet tooth.

when he heard the front door open, he jumped up and down excitedly before composing himself as he waited for johnny to walk into the kitchen.

“happy birthday!” ten exclaimed when he saw johnny standing in front of the entrance.

“oh my god, ten.” johnny covered his mouth. “you cooked without burning the house down.”   
ten rolled his eyes playfully as he watched johnny sit on the stool by the counter. he immediately stuck his finger in the cake and licked it.

“god i love this icing.” johnny nodded approvingly.

“you didn’t even make a wish!” ten sucked his teeth.

“okay, fine,” johnny closed his eyes for anfew seconds before opening them and blowing out all of the candles.

“what’d you wish for?”

“i can’t tell you, it’s a secret.” johnny said as he took all the candles off of the cake.

“can we go to our room?” ten smirked. “i wanna show you something.”

“is it another present?”

“mhm,” ten nodded. “come on.” ten pulled johnny’s hand, making him get up from the stool to drag him into their room.

“where’s the present?” johnny furrowed his eyebrows.

“it’s me!” ten giggled. “come here,” he said before pulling johnny toward him and standing on his toes to kiss him.

johnny pulled away, leaving ten confused.

“what’s wrong?”

“i’m tired, ten. i did a lot of work today.” johnny sighed.

“but sex is better when you’re tired.”

“ten, i don’t expect you to know what it’s like to work a full time job for over 12 hours a day, but it really drains my energy. seriously, i’m really tired.”   
ten folded his arms over his chest and he it was so obvious he was getting angry.

“sorry i didn’t choose some boring ass job for my career. i actually get tired from working in the studio all day to do commissions for companies and people who want too much done. why do you always do this johnny?”

“do what? you’re always the one to get offended over one little thing when it comes to your job, ten. i said the truth, you obviously never had to work for anything until you started your art career. you even said yourself that your parents just bought any and everything for you, including your entire college tuition.” johnny scoffed, taking his shoes off.

ten found himself more upset than angry at this point and hearing his own boyfriend tell him that his job is basically a joke hurt him a lot.

“why would you say something like that?” ten sat on the bed and tried to keep himself from getting more upset than he felt he should be.   
“i couldn’t help that my parents are wealthy, johnny. right now i’m working as an artist because i love it, not because it’s ‘easy’. you’re obviously making so much more money than me and i know fixing computers is harder than making art but i really love my job.”

johnny exhaled and joined ten on the bed. he felt extremely shitty when hearing how upset ten sounded. this is always a topic of their arguments and johnny hates feeling like he’s bashing ten’s career.

“i shouldn’t have said that, ten.” johnny sighed. “i know you work just as hard as me and it’s so evident since you spend most of your day in the studio. i’m sorry for saying what i said. you’re such a hard worker and i envy how much love you have for your job. i’m also really proud of seeing your art progress every year and getting more and more commissions. i’m glad we turned the guest room into an art studio because every single day i get to see you doing what you do best and i seriously love it.” he pulled ten close to him so he could rest his head on his shoulder.

“you didn’t have to say all that, johnny,” ten smiled. “but thank you.”

“thank you for the cake.” johnny interrwined his fingers with ten’s.  
“i’m off tomorrow so maybe you can show me what you’re working on in the studio.”

“i’m actually spending the day at the elementary school that’s getting renovated because i’m getting paid to paint a mural in their library.” ten said, playing with johnny’s fingers.

“oh my god! really?” johnny exclaimed. “holy shit, ten that’s so awesome.” he took ten’s hand and kissed it multiple times, making ten giggle. johnny loved hearing ten’s giggled so he proceeded to tickle him. he climbed on top of him and littered him with kisses while he tickled him in the most sensitive spots which on ten were his sides, his neck, and his stomach.

“johnny i have to put the cake away!” ten managed to shout.

“can we watch a movie, then?” johnny stopped tickling and kissing ten.

“sure.” ten nodded. “get off of me, dummy.” the short boy muttered.

“don’t you want to have sex?” johnny smirked.   
“that would probably be the best way to end my birthday.” he grinned.

——

feb. 14 2018

johnny plodded back to the bed after shutting the curtain. he climbed in carefully so he wouldn’t wake ten. he figured it was too late when ten let out a soft groan and rolled over. he stretched his arms and his eyes slowly fluttered open. he was met with johnny’s brown eyes and he smiled when seeing johnny smile.

“good morning.” johnny whispered.

“we haven’t woken up like this in a while.” ten beamed. his voice was groggily and nasally due to the cold he’s had all week.   
“crap it’s jaehyun’s birthday,” the smaller boy muttered. “i forgot to get him a present.”

“it’s also valentine’s day.” johnny reminded. “i won’t tell you what i got you but you’re gonna love it so much.” he kissed ten on the forehead.

“i’m sure your gift won’t top mine.” ten grinned. he threw the blanket off of him and his bare legs were immediately cold. he climbed out the bed and stretched, causing his sweatshirt to lift and reveal his belly button.

“well i already top so who’s the real winner?” the tall boy grabbed his phone off the nightstand and ten grabbed a bottle of water and walked over to the plants that sat on the windowsill of the bay windows.

“what are you getting jaehyun for his birthday?” johnny asked.

“probably a new board and a gift card to that skate shop.” ten leaned over the couch under the windows and poured water into all the plants and capped the bottle.

“so many birthdays this month...february is such a money spending month.” johnny ran a hand through his dark messy hair.

“i think it’s fun,” ten shrugged, walking back to the bed to make his side and rearrange all the pillows. he took his phone off the charger and walked over to the dresser to grab a towel that was hanging over it.   
“i’m getting in the shower, i’ll try not to use all the hot water so you can get in after me,” ten opened the bedroom door.

“or i can get in with you,” johnny suggested.   
“i was watching this show where this couple showered together and brushed their teeth in the shower and flossed and everything using the water from their shower to save money.”

“i’m not brushing my teeth after washing my balls, johnny.” ten scoffed.

“oh my god...” johnny twisted his face at ten’s vulgarness and ten flashed a grin before leaving the room to go to the bathroom. after ten showered, he came back to the room to get dressed and johnny was sleeping again. when he was fully dressed he sat on the floor to organize the commissions he had to mail out. everything was scattered on the large bedroom floor since the art studio room was too cluttered at the moment.

a few hours passed and ten was now helping a very tired johnny with laundry. they decided they’d just get it over with now since it was johnny’s day off.

“do you have the change?” ten asked, shoving a teeshirt in the bag.

“yeah it’s in the car.” johnny confirmed. he lifted both bags that were full of their laundry and when he turned his wrist around to get a better grip of the bag, ten noticed a blue pain stain on the sleeve of johnny’s hoodie.

“wow i see you have my hoodie again.” ten smiled. about a year ago, ten and johnny helped do volunteer work at a dog park together and they both got hoodies sort of as a participation award. johnny lost his hoodie and he occasionally wears ten’s and every time he does, ten would think johnny found his until he sees the paint stain on it.

“it was the first thing i grabbed that wasn’t in our dirty pile.”

ten opened the door for johnny and quickly ran to the elevator to press the button before johnny could get there.

“why won’t you just let me hold a bag so you don’t have to carry both.” ten folded his arms over his chest as he stepped into the elevator when the doors slid open.

“because they’re heavy.” johnny dropped the bags immediately after stepping into the elevator. he pressed the first floor button and watched the doors slide shut. “fuck, we forgot soap.” he let out a heavy sigh before slouching over.

“there’s some in the trunk, johnny. plus they always have the little dispensers at the laundry mat.”

“then i’d have to waste more change.”

“you’re so cheap.” ten rolled his eyes and then giggled at johnny’s glare.

after their 4 hour trip to the laundry mat, local restaurant for lunch, a skate shop to get jaehyun’s present and then jaehyun’s house to give him said present, they were now getting ready for the special date johnny planned for tonight.

“why do i have to dress so nice i thought we were just going to that art gallery.” ten sighed as he struggled to tie on his bow tie.

“how’d you know it was an art gallery?” johnny reached into the drawer and grabbed a clip on bowtie before replacing it with the one ten couldn’t tie.

“because i saw the tickets on the kitchen table.” ten gave johnny a nonchalant kiss on the cheek as a thank you for the clip tie.

johnny sighed, feeling defeated when it was revealed ten semi knew what his present was.

“are you buying me art from there? who’s the artist being represented tonight?” ten asked, opening his jewelry box to take out the earrings he had in to replace them with different ones.

“you’ll see when we get there ten.” johnny muttered while he focused on tying his shoes.

“aren’t you wondering what your gift is too?” the thai boy looked at johnny in the mirror as he talked to him.

“i’m curious but i don’t know what to expect so i’m trying to keep my excitement at a minimum.”

“well your gift is currently at doyoung’s house and i have to go there to get it so...” ten smiled mischievously.

“i’m sure it can’t top the box of chocolates and the very emotional card you gave me after lunch.”

“well i’m pretty sure it can.”

ten ended up having to wait for johnny to finish getting ready since his hair apparently wasn’t cooperating with him at that moment. when they arrived, johnny had to make sure ten didn’t see the sign in front of the door that displayed his name.

“it’s so crowded tonight...” ten muttered. “the wine better be good.” he said to himself.

it took johnny over 5 attempts to successfully parallel park. johnny held ten’s hand while they crossed the street and he got more excited as they approached the sign since he couldn’t just wait to see ten’s reaction.

“wait, johnny, look!” ten gasped deeply and pointed at the sign. “that’s my fucking name! johnny it says my fucking name! my art is here tonight!” he threw himself into johnny’s arms and jumped up and down before trying to clam himself. after taking a deep breath and exhaling, he let out a high pitched scream that could’ve caused johnny to go deaf. he was at a loss for words as he tried to walk into the building. it’s been his dream to this building out for a gallery show.

“johnny...i-i honestly don’t know what to say...” ten started to get emotional which was what johnny expected. “th-this...this is so...oh my god,” he hugged johnny again and kissed him softly.

“you deserve this so much, ten.” johnny’s voice was so honey drenched in ten’s ear.

“thank you,” ten said. “thank you, thank you, thank you! i love you so much, i can’t even describe how i feel right now.”

they walked further into the building and seeing everyone so intrigued in the art made ten feel so special.

“unfortunately you didn’t prepare for a speech.” johnny chuckled.

“a-a speech?”

“if you don’t want to you don’t have to but all you have to do is say a couple words about yourself and your art.”

“no, i’ll do it.” ten beamed. his face was glowing red and he couldn’t stop smiling with the excess joy he was trying to take in.

ten noticed the wine table immediately walked over to it as johnny followed.   
he read at the bottle of wine that sat behind the glasses and he covered his mouth.

“this is my favorite wine johnny!”

“you’re welcome.” johnny smiled.

“johnny you’re so...oh my god you’re so perfect.” ten sighed dramatically.   
“i honestly don’t know what i’d do without you.”

“i love you so much, ten and i’d do anything to make you happy. you mean the world to me. happy valentine’s day.” the tall boy gave ten a kiss on the forehead.

“i love you,” ten muttered. “i love you so much, i still can’t believe this is real.”

“well it’s very real and you’re very important to me.”

when ten finally got over his fascination, he went around to look at all the pieces johnny chose to be in the gallery. they were all ten’s favorites. he talked to several people who had questions and comments. johnny watched ten beaming with bright eyes as he walked around and talked to everyone. he hasn’t seen ten this excited in a while.

ten flicked the wine glass to get everyone’s attention but the sound was so quiet no one could hear it.

“here,” johnny took a cough drop out of his pocket.

“what am i supposed to do with this?” ten stared at the cough drop.

johnny held it from the end of the wrapper and began clinking it against the glass.

“oh,” ten giggled. when everyone started to turn around, ten chuckled nervously as he said,”uh can i have everyone’s attention.” he cleared his throat.

everyone turned their attention to him and johnny stopped clinking the glass and cough drop.

“i’m chittaphon leechaiyapornkul, but you can obviously just call me ten,” the small boy giggled. “my art is displayed here tonight and i just want to thank everyone for coming to see it. my boyfriend is the one who made this all possible, i wasn’t even expecting this, honestly.” he gestured toward johnny who awkwardly stood next to ten with a big smile on his face.

“he’s the most amazing person in the world and i can’t believe he went out of his way to do this. i love him a lot. but again, thank you all so much for coming here. i really hope you enjoy my art. if you have any questions or anything you can just come ask, i don’t bite!” ten smiled sheepishly.

after the gallery show ended, ten dropped johnny off at their apartment since he was tired. he drove to doyoung’s house and thanked him for holding his gift and then described everything that happened tonight.   
after talking doyoung’s head off, ten finally left his house, with johnny’s gift in the front seat and drove home.

when ten parked in the car garage, he held the small white kitten in his hand gently as he got out and walked into the building.

“he’s gonna love you so much,” ten cooed at the kitten. he finally got to the third floor where their apartment was and slowly opened the door to make sure johnny wasn’t sitting in the living room where he could see ten.

“johnny!” ten called. when johnny shouted back something incoherent, ten said,”come here,”

“what is so important at this moment that is worth me losing all the comfort i just had?” johnny walked out of the room only wearing boxers and a tee shirt with some weird cartoon on it.

“look, come here,” ten motioned for johnny to come closer.

“what are you- oh my god!” johnny immediately cooed when seeing the white little fur ball in ten’s arms.

“ten, i’ve been- you really- oh my god!” johnny reached his arms out to take the kitten from ten.

“you’re allergic to cats and dogs, ten, how are we gonna keep him?” johnny held the kitten delicately in his arms like a newborn baby.

“her,” ten corrected,”and i could always get my doctor to prescribe me nasal spray. i know you’ve wanted a cat for so long and i’d personally prefer a dog but since you’re the best boyfriend in the universe, i got you a cat.”

“you’re the sweetest ten, oh my god. she’s so cute.”

“fun fact, i got her last week and shes’s been at doyoung’s since.” ten pointed out.

“wow,” johnny chuckled. “did you get food and stuff?”

“i kind of have to get a litter box at the store but there are no stores open right now.”

“walmart’s open 24 hours, c’mon i’ll go with you.” johnny said, slipping on his conveniently placed flip flops that ten absolutely hated.

“you’re not walking out of the house with those on, johnny.”

“c’mon, it’s our first family trip to walmart.” johnny sighed.

“oh really?” ten scoffed,”so is she a seo or a leechaiyapornkul?”

“she’s a seo-lee.”

“you’re so stupid, johnny.” ten jokingly rolled his eyes as he went back to the front door with his keys.

johnny and ten always give each other over the top gifts for valentine’s day and every gift tops the previous year’s gift.   
it’s like a tradition they’ve obtained in their relationship and they honestly have no idea how to top this year’s gift.

——

feb. 27 2018

“alright, so by 7:00?” ten spinned in his chair as he talked on the phone. “okay...thank you, bye.” he put his phone down and sighed before plopping his head down on his desk.

“ten?” johnny knocked on the door that was slightly opened.

“come in.” ten sighed. he lifted his head and rubbed his forehead.

“happy birthday, love.” johnny handed ten a cup of coffee. “i made breakfast, i thought you were still sleep.”

“i have this thing due by 7 for this website. i barely do graphic design and i made that clear with them, but they still want me to.”

“ten, you don’t have to do something you can’t do.” johnny pulled the chair from in front of ten’s easel next to this desk.

“well i don’t have that option because of bills and stuff. my car payment is due in a few days.”

“i thought the car was already paid off.”

“i have another year.” ten corrected. “i guess this will be good for me to learn how to different art styles for clients and such. i’m just stressed because i put it off for a while and it’s due tonight at 7 or they won’t pay me.”

“do you want me to leave you alone then so you can concentrate?”

“no, i just-,” ten sighed,”i just really need you right now.”

johnny wrapped his arms around ten, letting the smaller boy practically fall into him as he embraced him softly.   
“you’re going to do amazing on this project, okay?” johnny whispered in ten’s ear.

ten nodded.

“i love you, soooooo much.” johnny kissed ten on the cheek. “when i get back from work later we can watch a movie or something like we used to, okay?”

ten nodded again, slightly smiling when johnny kissed him on the forehead.   
“i love you, johnny.” ten smiled wider.

“i love you more,” johnny stood up and kissed ten on the forehead again. “also, before i leave i wanted to tell you there’s a little gift on the counter and there’s also breakfast.” he smiled.

“thank you.”

“anything for you, love.” johnny began to leave the room but he turned around to say,”please take a break from your work, ten.”

“i will, johnny i promise. have a nice day, love.”

“bye, love you.” johnny waved before leaving the room.

ten continued to work for about 15 minutes until he got hungry. he grabbed his coffee and carefully walked out of the room so he wouldn’t spill it everywhere since johnny always fills it too close to the top.   
he rolled his eyes when seeing the cat sleeping on the couch but decided not to bother her since she looked comfortable.   
“the hell...” ten muttered under his breath as he walked into the kitchen and saw the shiny green gift bag sitting on the counter with an envelope next to it. he sat on the stool in front of it and mentally thanked johnny for piling cheese on his eggs.   
he picked up the bag and first held it up to his ear while shaking it lightly. he shrugged and set the bag down before grabbing the fork that was on his plate so he could separate the strawberries from the eggs. ten has always hated when his food touches and johnny will always tease him about it and call him spoiled.

after too much anticipation, ten reached into the bag and when he finally felt was in it he rolled his eyes and let out a small giggle. without taking it out he already knew what it was.

“oh my god...” ten shook his head. on ten’s birthday, johnny always gets gifts that ten expresses his hate for or if ten says something such as,”we need a new broom” johnny will get a broom. he’s always giving ten goofy gifts that lead up to his real gift which is always something way too expensive and ten always feels bad accepting it.

this time, johnny got ten a shirt that says ‘i’m not short, i’m fun sized’. a few years ago, ten absolutely hated that stupid quote and he always told johnny about how annoying it was to see people wear them. ten never knew where the quote came from until jaehyun told him and it made ten hate it even more since it was from some kids’ movie.   
the other day, ten and johnny were grocery shopping and there was a kid wearing a sweatshirt with the quote on it and ten expressed his disgust very dramatically.

“i’m gonna fucking kill him.” ten sighed, putting the shirt back in the bag. he grabbed the envelope and opened it as he ate a strawberry from his plate. when he pulled the card out he expected it to be one of those funny cards that had googly eyes on the front and some silly sentence about getting older. but the card was just red and black and it said happy birthday on the front with a heart at the bottom. he opened the card and when he saw   
“สุขสันต์วันเกิด” written on it, he smiled warmly. johnny only knows how to say some phrases in thai but him writing out happy birthday made ten really happy. he continued to read the card which said:

“สุขสันต์วันเกิด !!! despite being in your early 20s, you’re almost 30 which i can’t imagine because you still look like a 12 year old sometimes. i hope you enjoy the shirt though i put a lot of hard work into ordering it and paying extra money for amazon prime. also i got you a few gift cards to those stupidly expensive stores you like to shop at for your stupidly expensive clothes. there’s no point in buying clothes when you already look amazing without them on...but on a serious note, you’re special to me ten and i love you with all my heart. i love you, happy birthday sweetheart. -johnny

ten smiled as he expected the card to be mostly saracastic and ironic. he chewed on a pancake while folding the card and slipping it back in its envelope.

ten’s phone vibrated on the table and he expected it to be some client but when he read the ID, it was the group chat he’s had for years with his friends.

the message was from taeil.  
‘jaehyun, i’m coming over to play fortnite’

as ten read the message, he saw the speech bubble for jaehyun appear on the screen.

‘ i’m at work dude. try ten’s place.’

ten started to type, informing them he was busy until almost everyone in the group chat suddenly sent frantic messages wishing him a happy birthday.

ten giggled as he watched everyone freak out in messages.

‘thank you for the birthday wishes, guys. when i’m done my work i’ll let you come over taeil’ ten texted them.

after the texting died down in the chat, ten went back to eating breakfast. he hated the fact that he couldn’t just cuddle with johnny all morning like he did last year on his birthday.   
ten rarely asks for too much on his birthday. if anything, he asks for nothing. his friends will get him gifts based on how much they know him and whenever they overspend, ten insists they take it back but they don’t listen and ten is stuck with an expensive gift that he doesn’t want to admit he loves.

his birthdays are always simple and he enjoys them that way. he tried to avoid parties and will sometimes meet up with some friends or spend hours on face time with his parents. but to ten, his birthday is just another normal day out of the year. to johnny, it’s another excuse for him to kiss ten too many times and spoil him.

——

apr. 1 2018

"johnny why do you hate me so much." ten sighed, plopping down on the bed.

"i had no choice but to be the bunny, everyone else was too short to make the costume look good." johnny chuckled.

"i can't believe you actually went for it...who was the bunny last year who isn't doing stuff this year?"

"yukhei...the college student."

ten rolled over and rested his chin on his hands. he watched johnny struggle to get the gigantic costume bunny head from the closet that was filled with clutter.

"i thought you just wanted to help me pass out the little plastic eggs or something."

"well since i'm a good chicago citizen, i'm going to take every job they give me."

"it's not like we're getting paid to do volunteer work."

"yeah but we are doing things that are morally right and don't you like seeing the joy on the children's little runny nosed faces?"

ten let out a small laugh and grabbed a pillow to prop under his chin. "we get cool hoodies too." the thai boy muttered.

johnny zipped up the fuzzy gray and white costume, catching his breath afterwards. he rested his hands on his knees and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"wow great so my boyfriend is a furry now." ten sighed.

"just wait until march when they make your little ass a leprechaun for st. patty's day." johnny picked up the bunny head.   
"also, it's april fool's day, just a head's up."

"i actually hate you." ten growled under his breath.   
-

7 hours. 7 hours of easter activities for kids and 7 hours of johnny jumping around in a sweaty hot bunny suit. he was embarrassed but ten was probably even more embarrassed.

"oh my god, please take a shower." ten complained when johnny took off the bunny head as they walked home. his hair was drenched in sweat that dripped down his face.

"trust me, i will." johnny sighed,"if i knew this would be such a consequential job then i wouldn't have taken it."

"i tried to warn you." ten shrugged, opening the lobby door for his half man half bunny boyfriend.

when they got to their apartment, johnny took an hour long shower that resulted in all the hot water being used so ten took an ice cold shower that was uncomfortable and made him agitated.

"enjoy the shower?" johnny smirked, laying in the bed while typing something on his laptop.

"yeah i enjoyed watching my dick shrink from the very cold water, it was fun." ten flashed a sarcastic smile at johnny as he folded his towel over the couch. johnny only shook his head and smiled. ten always comes up with the most vulgar retorts.

"we need to go to the store for more cat food, by the way." the younger informed.

"it's getting dark out, ten." johnny sighed as he looked out of the window.

"well we can drive there but there's really no point in wasting gas somewhere we could walk 5 minutes to."

"okay, fine. you can get sick going outside right after a shower ten."

"that's just some old myth, johnny." ten said. "c'mon, get up."

ten basically dragged johnny out of the house and they were now taking their shortcut to the store. johnny occasionally looked at ten to make sure he was alright and he would protectively squeeze his hand as he held it tightly.

when they walked past a man who was smoking a cigarette, johnny pulled ten closer to him absentmindedly and it was all fine until johnny noticed the looks the man was giving. it was obvious he was checking out ten and johnny was at first going to let it go until he noticed him bite his lip.

johnny stopped walking, making ten look up at him confusingly.

"what's up?" the man said as johnny looked at him with such a distinct look in his eyes. ten tugged on johnny's arm to urge him to keep walking.

"so do you just stand here...waiting for people to pass by so you can be a fucking pervert?" johnny asked.

"johnny, come on." ten whispered.

"dude look," the man chuckled smoothly. "i'm not some homo but whatever catches my eye, catches my eye and there's nothing wrong with that."

"yeah except that that's my boyfriend."

"the way you're toughening up it seems you want a fight but if i were you i'd cool it."

"johnny, just come on." ten tugged on johnny's arm even harder. he didn't care about the context of their conversation he just didn't want his boyfriend to get hurt.

"or what? you really don't know what you got yourself into when you checked out my boyfriend, did you?" johnny smiled. the smile was so dark and ten was getting more and more afraid as everything unfolded.

the man dropped his cigarette and stomped it out in front of johnny. suddenly, an unexpected but painful force met johnny's jaw and he lost his balance, tuning out the loud cry ten let out.   
johnny's mouth was bloody.

"johnny!" ten screamed, pulling johnny toward him. johnny was able to get out of ten's grasp and so much adrenaline filled him so he ignored ten's pleas to stop and he instead continued the fight, punching the man in the nose and slamming him against the brick building.

"johnny stop!" ten screamed out. of course this happens. of course johnny gets so protective that he ends up fighting some stranger behind a building.

the stranger grabbed johnny by his shirt and threw him to the ground and ten was absolutely helpless. the short boy was crying at this point, watching his boyfriend get stomped to the ground by a stranger.

ten could call the police or he could just stand there. the latter seemed like the best option at the moment.

"get away from him!" ten screamed. it was nothing to the man. he ignored ten and continued beating johnny until he was incapable of getting up to fight back. seeing the damage he had done, the stranger cursed under his breath as he wiped blood from his lip. he looked at ten and then johnny before running away.

"oh my god..." ten kneeled down to johnny's aid. the dark haired man was wincing in pain. his face was bloody and ten couldn't bear looking at it.

"i'm fine," johnny panted. "i-i just need help getting up." he sat up and winced at the pain that went through his back.

"johnny you have to go to a hospital."

"no, i'm fine ten," johnny groaned when ten helped him up. "let's just go home."

who would've thought that the man who was dressed as a bunny to volunteer at a kids' easter activity day would get involved with something like this.

_____

jul. 4 2018

ten obnoxiously rang jaehyun's doorbell until he came to the door and opened it.

"sorry, that was ten." johnny said when jaehyun opened the door.

"c'mon in." jaehyun left the door open as he walked away to resume whatever he was doing. he was only wearing swimming trunks and a robe.

"what'd you do different here?" ten asked, tossing his jacket on the couch. he walked into the kitchen and set all the bags him and johnny brought over on the counter.

"i only got a new coffee table." jaehyun ran a hand through his messy hair before opening the fridge and handing johnny a carton of iced coffee. "they were on sale."

"wow thanks, what an amazing fourth of july gift." johnny chuckled.

"you also got a whole new rack of boards," ten pointed to one of jaehyun's skateboard racks that wasn't full like the other.

"oh yeah, that too." jaehyun looked in the bags that ten and johnny brought to make sure they got the right things. he's hosting the fourth of july party this year and of course he didn't have enough time to get groceries so ten and johnny had to get everything.

"so you're inviting all your skater friends?" ten asked, sitting on the stool at the counter.

"you mean jungwoo?" the blonde chuckled. "he's my only 'skater friend' that i still talk to since the skate park closed down for renovations."

"is there anyone coming that me and johnny don't know?"

"no, i don't think so. everyone else is just our friends and some of my family members."

"gross, your family is the worst." johnny fake gagged. johnny only has a problem with jaehyun's dad since he outed him to his parents when he was in high school.

"well my dad isn't coming because he has a flu, so i guess you're lucky." jaehyun opened the sliding door in the kitchen and walked out to the patio to make sure he had enough charcoal for the grill.

johnny snaked his arms around ten's waist from behind and kissed him on the cheek. for a while, johnny has been extremely touchy-feely with ten. it's almost like when they first started dating and couldn't keep their hands away from each other only this time, johnny just really wants sex but ten is just never in the mood for it.

"let's go upstairs," johnny whispered in ten's ear.

"johnny i'm not having sex in jaehyun's house again, he could've caught us last time." the short boy sighed.

"teeeennn." johnny whined. "he won't care, he might just think we're up there playing his ps4 or something."

ten spun around in the stool so that he was facing johnny. he looked up at his giant boyfriend who was pouting like a baby.

"i'm not having sex in jaehyun's spare room again. his family's coming over, what if they spend the night or something?"

"we're turning into such a boring couple." johnny frowned.

"don't be like that, johnny. i just really don't want to have sex right now."

"or ever." the tall man muttered.

"johnny," ten wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's torso. "i love you." he smiled warmly.

johnny wanted to be bitter but he couldn't since ten's big beautiful eyes were staring into his and he looked so adorable.

"i love you, too." johnny returned the smile.

"jaehyun your house looks so different!" someone shouted from the living room.

yuta walked into the kitchen wearing probably the wackiest outfit in the universe.   
"it's the fourth of july, i have to be patriotic or whatever."

"oh my god, you look like a clown." jaehyun snorted as he walked into the kitchen.

  
when the party started, ten and johnny were practically all over each other. johnny wasn't really planning on jumping in jaehyun's pool but when ten pulled him in, they started having a splashing fight which resulted in johnny accidentally wacking ten in the nose.

"the water doesn't even feel cold anymore, johnny why are your nipples so hard?" ten giggled.

johnny immediately covered his chest in embarrassment until ten wrapped his arms around his neck and showered him with kisses. "i'm only kidding, johnny."

"you're the rudest person in the world." johnny rolled his eyes before pulling ten closer to him and kissing him sloppily.

"hey, johnny and ten, get a fucking room!" jungwoo shouted from the skate ramp.   
ten gave him the middle finger in response.

"this reminds me of all the shitty college parties we went to together." johnny said, his smile was wide and bright on his face and ten fell in love with it.

"yeah," ten said, completely mesmerized by johnny's smile. "could you imagine buying a house like this with a big backyard and a pool for our kids?"

johnny nearly choked on his spit after hearing ten say "our kids."

"kids?" johnny furrowed his eyebrows.

"yeah, i thought you wanted kids..."

"i do, and i would love to but...i don't know. the thought of it just makes me nervous. i don't know what kind of father i'd be."

"you'll be an amazing father." ten smiled. "it's just a thought, though. we have a whole lifetime to decide whether we want kids or not."

"well whatever happens i just really hope we stay together forever." johnny kissed ten on the nose, earning a small giggle from him.

"i can't believe i have you." ten smiled.

 

they came back to their place at midnight.   
"i really need to wash this chlorine off before all my hair falls out." johnny said as he grabbed a towel for the shower.

"can i shower with you?" ten smirked.

"yeah just don't wash my back like that one time...that was really weird."

"what's weird about washing a back?" ten scoffed, laying out his clothes on the bed.

"because it was like 2 seconds after you nutted in my mouth. it was just weird." the tall boy scrunched his nose.

"i guess you're right." ten shrugged. he watched johnny take off his shirt and toss it in the dirty clothes basket before walking to the bathroom.

"babe, i found your hoop earrings you were looking for!" johnny shouted from the bathroom.

"thank you!" ten shouted back before grabbing a towel and joining his boyfriend in the bathroom.

"the water is taking way too long to get hot," johnny sighed when ten walked into the bathroom and hung his towel over the rack.

"do you think other people in the building are having this problem too?" ten furrowed his eyebrows.

"probably." johnny muttered.

"the most uncomfortable feeling is taking a shower after you go swimming." ten said as he took off his clothes.

"no the most uncomfortable feeling is stepping on crumbs with wet feet." johnny corrected.

"oh my god!" ten cringed.

"oh, finally the water's hot." the tall boy said, hesitating to step in. "c'mon, join me." he whined.

"wait," ten turned around and pulled down his swimming trunks. he waited a few seconds for turning back around and shouting,"ta daaa!"

"what?" johnny looked around to see what he did. "i don't see any- OH MY GOD."

when ten told johnny he was getting a new piercing last month, he didn't think he'd get a dick piercing. johnny stared at the metal in shock and amazement.

"so this is why we haven't had sex in like ages?"

"yup." ten smiled mischievously.

_____

oct. 31 2018

ten tossed his phone on the bed as he wrapped his packages with the new packaging he just got from the post office.  
he was mailing his commissions in a few days but since he had a lot, he had to start wrapping them early.

"baby, look! i'm skylar for christmas!" johnny beamed, showing off the cat ears and tail he sported.

"johnny," ten giggled. "you look just like skylar, i bet she's jealous you stole her look." he joked, setting down the pack of stamps. "what made you want to dress as our cat?"

"i don't know," johnny shrugged. "but i'm cute, right?"

"yes, extremely cute." ten smiled. "too bad jaehyun isn't throwing a halloween party this year." he pushed his glasses from sliding down his nose and opened a new envelope.

"it's fine, it's probably for the best...last year's party was interesting." johnny picked up ten's phone from the bed and checked the time. he plugged the phone on the charger after seeing it was 3%.

"i thought you liked the threesome!" ten exclaimed.

"i did but i hated seeing the way jaehyun was with you. i want to be the only one calling you pet names."

"please don't turn me on while you're wearing a fucking cat costume." ten scoffed.

there was a knock at the front door and johnny groaned in annoyance. "is there anyway i can let these kids know that i am not fucking giving out candy." he rolled his eyes as left the room. ten heard two or three kids exclaim," trick or treat!" and almost a minute after, the door shut.

johnny came back to the room and sat on the bed. "i feel bad for turning them away like that."

"just don't come to the door next time." ten shrugged.

"you're so smart...your mind amazes me." johnny said sarcastically.

"shut up." ten retorted. "can you help me with these? if you don't mind."

"yes, of course," johnny smiled. he crawled on the floor to join ten,"do i still get a free t shirt?" he asked as he held up one of the teeshirts ten was packing.

"yes, but i can't give you one now because they're all sold out so you have to wait until i get them printed again." ten explained as he folded one of the shirts and stuffed it into a padded envelope.

"why aren't you using those plastic bag thingies?"

"because i like to draw a little picture on the back of these envelopes and it'd be hard to draw on plastic because the marker smears and everything." ten handed johnny a stack of empty envelopes.

johnny sees ten going far in his career. he sees him owning a clothing line with his prints on it and having sold out 'a-list' gallery shows. he's passionate about what he does and seeing his face brighten while he does his job or talks about it fills johnny's heart with so much joy. he watched ten fold another shirt with his design on it.

"why am i the luckiest human in the universe?" johnny asked. "i'm actually the luckiest person alive to be with you...I just really want you to know that." ten is used to johnny's random comments but he'll probably never react nonchalantly. he'll inevitably get bashful.

ten blushed and tried to continue doing his work. johnny's comments like this would always make ten blush red and get shy. he'd always feel like an angsty teen and it would always remind him of how they fell in love with each other. johnny would send ten multiple texts everyday just telling him how beautiful he is. of course ten played hard to get and he would leave them on read or send short phrased responses. after seeing a movie with johnny and his group of friends, he fell in love with his bright smile. he fell in love with his long brown hair that would always fall over his left eyebrow so perfectly. he fell in love with the way he laughed at his own jokes and would tell stories so theatrically with so much emphasis on the smallest details. he fell in love with johnny that night and from there on, johnny became ten's world.

"stop ignoring me, babe." johnny chuckled, gently grabbing ten's wrist and pulling him closer.

"i need to get these packed so i can ship them in the morning," ten sighed, trying to hide his obviously red face.

"give me a kiss first."

ten propped himself on his hand and gave johnny a quick peck before sitting back down on the floor.

"oh my god, ten." johnny scoffed. "are the cat ears turning you off?"

"when i get done with five more packages, i'll give you all the attention you need, okay?" johnny is like a child sometimes, always begging for ten's attention. it's like their roles switch every once in a while. during sex, johnny will be extremely dominant and ten loves it that way but there are many times where he's taken control and johnny actually likes being submissive to ten. the times ten would top were always uncomfortable to both of them so most times, johnny tops but ten won't hesitate to be a power bottom.

"i need you now," johnny whined. "please, babe."

after minutes of begging and whining, johnny finally had ten under him, his cat ears were thrown on the floor and his tail was hard for ten to reach at the moment so he decided he'd get to that later.

"you're so, so, precious." johnny whispered, tenderly kissing ten's neck. "i'm so lucky."

ten won't admit it, but he definitely has a praise kink.

"more," ten begged. "say more," he softly gasped as johnny suddenly sucked a bruise on his sweet spot that was right under his ear.

"what was that, baby boy?" the tall man smirked, running his hand along ten's torso under his shirt.

"i want more, johnny." ten repeated.

"now look who's being needy." johnny chuckled.

"come oooon." ten whined.

"you're so good for me." johnny whispered in his ear. "such a good boy."

"johnny," the younger moaned softly when johnny left kisses all over his neck and collarbones.

"yes, baby?"

"i love you." ten said softly.

"i love you, too, T."

T.

johnny called him T when they first started dating and after a few months, there were other nickname to replace it. every once in a while johnny will call him T and it'll bring back so many nostalgic memories of college and when they first met, their first argument, their first temporary break up. they've been through so much in the past few years together.

after a half an hour of a slow, sloppy makeout session followed by even slower sex, the two were tired. ten decided he'd finish the packages first thing in the morning since his main priority at the moment is to cuddle with johnny and watch a really shitty horror movie that happened to be on TV.

"so, why does she keep reliving the same day?" johnny furrowed his eyebrows as he wrapped his arm around ten's bare body.

"i don't know." ten shrugged. "this is the worst movie in the universe."

"agreed." the older muttered. he pulled the blanket further up ten's back and scooted impossibly closer to him while ten's head was rested on his chest.

they heard scratching on their door and ten lifted his head and furrowed his eyebrows.

"it's probably skylar." johnny shrugged.

after the scratching stopped, they heard their door creak open wider ten looked at the floor to see if the small white cat was sitting there. johnny was right. it was skylar. she was walking in the room, preparing to jump up on the bed.

"the whole family is here now." johnny smiled.

"god, you're so cute." ten pinched johnny's cheek before laying back down on his chest.

johnny pulled ten closer to him and kissed him on the forehead. if this is what johnny's life is going to be like for the rest of his life if he marries ten, then he can't ask for anything better.

_____

nov. 22 2018

"oh my god, ten. it's not fucking up to you to decided whether you should invite my parents to dinner or not." johnny said, turning down the stove. "you know how much damage they cause me-"

"you haven't talked to your parents in nearly a year, johnny. you need to talk to them, it can clear up so much stuff." ten explained.

"no!" the tall man shouted. "they will always be the reason why my life is pure hell."

"johnny, your life is not hell, don't say that. you have me." ten attempted to wrap his arms around johnny's torso but he was pushed away.

"you are so fuking selfish." johnny muttered. "it's always all about you, ten."

"that is not true," ten said quietly. "i know i've been a bit selfish before but i did this for you."

"no you didn't," johnny stepped away from the stove and leaned against the counter. "you did this for yourself. you want to have this big beautiful thanksgiving dinner for what, ten? we've never had a thanksgiving dinner. we never do anything on thanksgiving, but now you're so obsessed with being perfect to the point where you do shit that only benefits you. your mom can't make it so you invite my parents just to compensate for yours and i think that's the most pathetic thing someone can do, especially since my parents have hurt me mentally, emotionally, and even physically. this is probably the lowest thing you've ever done and i don't think i can forgive you."

ten had nothing to say. he's never heard these words come from johnny. sure, other people have called him selfish and pathetic but not johnny and hearing him saying it is like being hit in the chest by a thousand bricks, right in the same spot continuously.   
it hurt him a lot.

but johnny is even more hurt and he doesn't regret saying this to ten. seeing his boyfriend's red face that were now covered in tears with the most broken look he's ever seen didn't phase him at all.

"i'm sorry-" before ten could even get the words out, johnny cut him off. "fuck you, ten." he scoffed. and then he left the kitchen.

this is really bad...

ten hopped up on the counter and grabbed his phone from his pocket. he dialed johnny's mother's number and held the phone against his ear as he waited for her to answer. he wiped the tears that seemed to never stop pouring down his cheeks.

great, it went to voicemail.

ten hung up the phone and slammed it on the counter. they live close so telling them that they can't come won't be so bad since they don't have to drive far.

ten hopped off the counter and turned the stove off. there's no use for cooking dinner if johnny is mad at him.

he walked to their bedroom and johnny was sitting on the couch by the window, typing something in his laptop.

johnny noticed ten walk in but he ignored him and continued typing. this was definitely one of the more serious arguments they've ever had and ten wouldn't be surprised if johnny started packing his bags to leave.

the thai boy sat on the bed and sighed, staring at johnny who was across the large room. he was wearing ten's glasses and using ten's laptop charger. he was typing quickly, looking more agitated and annoyed as the seconds passed. anger looks cute on johnny and ten hates to admit it.

"you probably hate me so much right now." ten finally said.

"yeah, hate is definitely an understatement." johnny scoffed. he pushed the glasses from slipping down the bridge of his nose and he kept his attention on the laptop.

"i called your mom but she didn't answer...i'm gonna try calling again to tell her she and your dad can't come. we can order takeout or something for dinner later if you want. i'm really sorry." ten tried his hardest not to look at johnny.

"i really don't need your bullshit apology, ten. you wouldn't have done it in the first place."

"but i mean it, johnny." ten's voice became whiny. "i'm sorry and i should've taken your feelings into consideration before inviting them. i don't know how to make you forgive me."

johnny shook his head and continued typing. he was emailing a customer who was complaining about the poor job that one of the employees at the computer repair shop did on her ipad.

"ten you should really stop storing your nudes on my laptop, it's taking up my storage." johnny muttered.

"i didn't want to delete them... they were nice." ten giggled, assuming johnny wasn't mad at him anymore.

ten's phone rang and he reached in his sweatshirt pocket to grab it. it was johnny's mother.

"hello?" he held the phone to his ear.

"hey, what's up?" he heard her voice through the phone.

"uh, me and johnny are canceling thanksgiving dinner so you guys can't come. i'm sorry."

johnny looked up from the screen to listen to the conversation.

"it's okay, we weren't gonna be able to make it anyway...my husband is in the hospital, he had a heart attack."

ten's heart dropped as he heard her voice crack.

"tell johnny to come to the hospital immediately...he's not gonna make it." she cried.

"oh my god..." ten muttered.

"what?" johnny shut the laptop. he saw ten's eyes water. "ten what happened?"

"o-oh, okay," ten stammered. "w-we'll be there sh-shortly...fuck, oh my god...okay, i love you too....bye." he set his phone down.

"ten, what."

the younger tried to stand up but he couldn't. he sat back down and he couldn't get the words to come out of his mouth.

"johnny..." ten began. "we...we have to," he started crying. "we have t-to get to the hospital now, johnny. y-your dad..."

"oh my god," johnny immediately stood up.

"he's not gonna make it." ten finished. "h-he's not gonna make it."

johnny lost his balance and he suddenly blacked out. for 1 minute he was passed out on the floor. he woke up and he was immediately crying in ten's arms.

"johnny we have to go to the hospital." ten said softly,"we have to say goodbye to him."

johnny's stomach turned at the word 'goodbye.'

ten helped johnny up and grabbed his shoes to put on johnny's feet. he grabbed a jacket and threw it over the tall boy's shoulders before getting his keys and leaving the apartment.

the drive to the hospital was short. but it felt long to johnny. every moment leading up to seeing his father lying lifeless on the hospital bed was so slow and heavy in a way.

the unbearable task of walking through those double doors, hearing the nurse explain everything to him was so heavy on him.

johnny made it to the room. the short brunette woman who was his mother stood by the bed holding her husband's cold hand.

ten stood by the door as he watched johnny approach his mother. he walkes over to the short lady and wrapped his arms around her so tightly. he cried in her shoulder for what seemed like hours but it was only five minutes.

"i'm sorry, youngho. i'm so so sorry." she whispered to her son,"if i could take back every single thing i've said and done to you that has hurt you, i would. i'm so sorry."

"it's okay." johnny cried. "h-he was healthy...everything was fine, h-how did this happen."

"i don't know, he just had a heart attack and h-he...i don't know." she stammered. "d-do you want me to leave so you can say bye?"

"if you want." johnny's voice was so broken.

she kissed johnny on the cheek before letting go of him. she walked over to ten and reached for his hand.

"thank you." she said. "thank you so much for loving him." before ten could even respond, she left the room.

"i'm gonna wait in the-"

"no," johnny murmured. "please stay here with me."

ten walked over to johnny. he stood in front of his resting father.

"he looks like he's sleeping." johnny exhaled.

"he does." ten smiled melancholically. "and he can hear you, i know he can." he held johnny's hand firmly and placed a soft kiss on it.

"i'm gonna miss you so terribly." johnny said, placing his hand on his father's. "we didn't that perfect father-son relationship i needed as i grew up but i know you loved me, you and mom." it seemed like the crying calmed but it didn't. johnny brokedown crying. he ended up on his knees, his arms resting on the rails of the hospital bed as he begged and begged why they took his dad.

ten couldn't stand to see this. he couldn't stand to see johnny so broken. he wiped his tears as he rubbed johnny's back.

the nurse walked into the room. she hated doing this but she had to,"i'm so sorry, it's time for you two to leave."

they're not allowed much time to say goodbye.

johnny reached over and kissed his father on the cheek. his wrinkled face was so relaxed and he looked like he was sleeping — as johnny said earlier. but he wasn't. he wasn't breathing either.

they left the room. johnny kissed his mother goodbye and they left the hospital. the very brief farewell period was too long to johnny. he wanted this to be some nightmare he was having. he wanted to wake up, sighing in relief after realizing his father isn't dead. but it isn't a dream.

as ten drove back home, he couldn't tune out johnny's quiet sobs. the best he could do was rub his back or place a comforting hand on his thigh.

when they got home, ten ordered chinese food. "wanna watch a movie?" he asked johnny, who sat on the couch with his jacket and shoes still on. he stared blankly at the wall across the living room. he shrugged.

"i might take a nap or something." johnny muttered. "you can save my food for later." he sighed as he stood up and kicked off his shoes. he tossed his jacket on the couch before going to their bedroom.

ten knows that in a few minutes, johnny will ask him to lay in bed with him.

"ten..." johnny called from the room. "i need you."

when ten came to the room, johnny's face was red and his eyes were puffy. his hair was a mess and he looked worn out.

"it's like when i stop crying, the tears come back." johnny sniffed as ten held him. he pulled the blanket up to his chin.

"it's okay, youngho. you can cry as much as you need to. i won't judge you, love." ten's voice was so soft and it made johnny cry even more.

ten stroked his hair softly as johnny let the tears spill all over the pillow.

"i-i keep telling myself th-that this is for the best a-and it happened for a reason b-but..."

"johnny, please don't tell yourself that. you're rationalizing, babe. this isn't good and it isn't okay that he's gone now. not everything happens for a good reason."

johnny found himself sobbing uncontrollably. the more ten spoke to him, he'd get increasingly hysterical.

johnny never knows when he'll leave or when ten will leave. but it's inevitable and it can happen at any moment. it scares him a lot since he has no idea what his possible last words could be to ten.

his last words to his father were 'go to hell.'

"i love you so much, ten," johnny's shaky voice cried. "i love you so much, and i'm sorry for getting upset with you earlier."

ten sighed and rested his chin on johnny's arm. "it's okay, love." he kissed johnny's shoulder before whispering,"i love you more." softly into his ear.

_____

dec 25 2018

ten gasped when the glass slipped out of his hand. it hit the floor and shattered, glass and wine painting the kitchen floor.

"i'm so sorry." ten said quickly as he grabbed a paper towel roll and knelt down on the floor.

"it's okay, darling." mrs. seo smiled. ten continued wiping the wine off the floor and then proceeded to grab a broom and sweep the glass into a corner for the moment.

ten looked over at johnny who sat at the counter, tracing his finger around the rim of the glass as he stared at the counter blankly.

ten sat next to him and sighed,"are you okay?"

johnny nodded.

ten sighed again. "are you sure?"

johnny shook his head and ten noticed his eyes water. johnny was getting better after the funeral last month but the holiday just brought back so many memories, especially since his mom is over.

"i never had a decent christmas i can remember with him. every christmas always ended in the shit i dealt with everyday with my mom and dad." johnny muttered. "they made me hate this holiday until i met you."

"i have to get going," mrs. seo pouted. she's been over for 5 hours, since they opened gifts this morning and johnny couldn't bear every minute of it. he loves his mother and after long talks and apologizing for all the trauma she's caused since johnny's childhood, he forgave her but he still hates being around her. after everything settled down with his father's death, johnny went back to having a deep hatred for his mother that seemingly never goes away.

johnny stopd up to hug her. he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and handed her her purse and the gifts him and ten got her.

"merry christmas!" she exclaimed.

"bye-bye, have a wonderful christmas." ten smiled as she left.

the door shut and johnny immediately let the tears spill from his eyes. "i-i hate her so much, ten. sh-she just acts like everything is okay b-but it's not." he cried.

"okay," ten exhaled. "come on." he walked johnny to the living room. "i wanna show you one more present."

ten grabbed a large box from under the small christmas tree. johnny called it a charlie brown tree when they finished decorating it.

ten put the box on the coffee table.

"what is it?" johnny wiped the tears from his cheeks.

skylar hopped on the couch and sat on johnny's lap and as soon as he started petting her, she jumped down and johnny pouted.

ten giggled and pushed the box toward johnny.   
"just open it."

johnny tore the festive wrapping paper off of the box. when he saw the label, he smiled. "really, ten?" he chuckled. he still sounded upset but his smile made ten feel better.

"yeah, we haven't built a huge lego set in a while and since you're off work for the holidays we can work on a new one." ten smiled.

"you're really cute, thank you, chittaphon." johnny finished unwrapping the box. "i actually can't wait to build this."

"yeah, it'll be fun."

the door swung open and doyoung stepped into the apartment holding multiple bags of gifts. "merry christmas!" he exclaimed, his arms extended in the air as he smiled widely. johnny looked at ten who covered his mouth and giggled. everything doyoung does is so adorable to the both of them.

"i brought presents." he beamed, joining johnny and ten in the living room. he sat on the floor at the coffee table and passed the gifts to ten and johnny.

"thank you, doyoung and merry christmas to you too." johnny chuckled.

after their eventful christmas filled with friends just randomly appearing at their front door with gifts, they finally were able to rest. johnny began to feel better toward the end of the day.

"what are you working on?" johnny leaned against the door frame of ten's studio.

"nothing, just looking through emails and checking the website and stuff."

"thank you for everything, ten." johnny said, walking into the studio and taking a seat by his easel.

"the gifts? it's fine, johnny. you don't have to thank me."

"no, just for taking care of me lately. you've been helping me a lot. i appreciate it and i feel like i've been a bit needy and clingy and i know it's annoying but you still make me feel cared for."

"johnny," ten turned around so he could face him. "you haven't been annoying at all. i love taking care of you and helping you. you deserve it, babe."

johnny smiled. "thank you, ten."

"i love you so much."

_______

  
dec. 31 2018

"hurry up! we're gonna miss the fireworks!" ten exclaimed.

johnny tugged at the beanie that covered his now brown hair. he shoved his hands in his pockets and complained about the cold.

"it's gonna be 2019." ten smiled, wrapping his arms around johnny's torso.

"this year was so weird." johnny muttered. he focused his vision on the beautiful city in front of him. he's on top of the city, watching it live.

it's 11:58 and they planned to go on the roof earlier but ten ended up giving johnny a handjob when they were eating dinner so it delayed a few things for them.

"it was really weird." ten agreed. "but we're here now, ready to start another weird year." he smiled.

"maybe we'll finally grow some balls and get married." the brown haired man chuckled

"maybe," ten shrugged. "maybe not."

"what?" johnny dramatically gasped. "i can't believe chittaphon leechaiyapornkul doesn't want to marry me!" he pulled ten closer to him and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

"you're stupid, of course i want to marry you." ten wiped the spit from his cheek.

"so we're technically engaged right now?" johnny bit his chapped lip.

"nope." the shorter tapped his nose. it was silent for a moment and johnny spent the short silence reflecting on the year. god, it was a wreck but as long as he and ten made it out safe, it was fine. now he has another year. more surprises and probably even more disagreements with ten.

"i'm dyeing my hair silver in 2019." ten smiled widely.

"no." johnny said abruptly. this is the first disagreement and the year hasn't eve started yet.

ten wasn't paying attention to time and suddenly a loud pop sounded through the sky, followed by the beautiful sight of different colors dancing around the dark sky.

"already?" johnny clutched onto ten has the dark haired boy watched the fireworks.

"it's 2019, johnny...already." ten marveled. "we're getting older and so is our world."

johnny stared into ten's bright eyes that presented the different colors that were painted in the sky by the fireworks.

"ten you are so beautiful." johnny muttered, pressing his forehead on ten's. he cupped ten's face, causing him to blush.

ten didn't know what to do with all the emotions he had at the moment. johnny did one simple action but it made him emotional, especially since he was called beautiful by the love of his life. he hears all the time from johnny that he's beautiful but some are more special than others. this one's definitely special.

so ten just cried. he cried as he tried to figure out how to contain all the emotions he had.

johnny was confused by his response.

"ten," johnny cooed. "why are you crying, babe?" his voice was so sweet.

"i don't know," ten whined. "i-i don't know."

"ten," johnny chuckled. "ten, you're so cute," he wiped the tears from ten's cheeks with his thumbs.

"stop," the dark haired boy slapped johnny's arm. "leave me alone."

"you're so cute!" johnny cooed. "look at the fireworks." he turned ten around and snaked his arms around his waist so that his back was pressed against johnny's stomach. he rested his chin on ten's shoulder.

"it's so pretty," ten smiled, wiping his tears before putting his hands on johnny's. "i can't stop crying."

"you're such a baby, ten." johnny kissed ten's shoulder. "i'm so in love with you." johnny whispered in his ear.

"me too," ten whispered back. he laughed goofily and said,"i think i'll be in love with you forever. the spark won't ever leave."

johnny grinned contently. "i'll be loving you forever."

they spent the rest of the night dancing under the dark sky and after the fireworks stopped, the moon provided their source of light. they exchanged small sweet words and gave each other quick kisses.

they have no idea how much they'll encounter in 2019.

 

_END._

 


End file.
